We in Goonswarm have always prided ourselves on the transparency of our democratic process. Nothing is hidden from the line member or the outsider about the subtle checks and balances that make sure that too much power is never concentrated in the hands of anyone who is not called The Mittani.
I was therefore the proudest Goon in my whole house when I was awoken by a call I received around 0430 on Sunday morning. A voice suspiciously like that of Dear Leader in falsetto said “I have The President of the CFC on the line for you with an important message.” Naturally I got out of bed and stood to attention before responding.
The familiar voice could now be heard from the other end of the line. After a short preamble of no more than twelve or thirteen minutes largely on the subject of “The Mittani”, he swiftly came to the point. “Your application for the post of alliance CSM candidate has been successful. You may inform your wife and colleagues immediately.”
I could not have been more delighted nor amazed. “My application was successful? And to think I didn’t even know that I had applied!” I’m not going to lie to you, it came as the biggest surprise to me since the time Mittens informed me that my application to manually fit one thousand seven hundred frigates ahead of the 2011 newbie drive had been successful.
Anyway, Mynnna has decided, after a year successfully representing not just Goonswarm but also many other areas of the Eve community, that he has had enough of rude and abrupt proto-Scandinavians and has elected to step down. I will endeavour to persuade you that you should vote for me for this year’s election, initially through reasoned argument and easy accessibility, but later, and in desperation, through the Avalloc method of promising to personally demand of CCP that every request made of me be enforced, no matter how borderline lunatic or even downright treasonous it may be.
Note: This will not interfere with my ongoing role as CSM Election Campaign Organiser for Pandemic Legion’s top poster Walter “Doink” Stine. A man needs to stick to his priorities or what else is left to him in this life?